All of It

Kind, magnetic, and with a life fully their own — all three standards are set high, and you have probably been told at some point that this is unrealistic. It isn't, exactly. People like that exist and some of them are single; every quality you're asking for is one somebody has. The honest part is arithmetic rather than character: three high bars multiply, so the field this leaves is a fraction of the field any single bar leaves, and it shrinks fastest for the people whose bars are all genuinely high rather than aspirationally so. Knowing precisely what you want is worth a great deal — it saves years that vaguer profiles spend finding out. What it also does is make patience a requirement rather than a virtue, and it is worth deciding on purpose which of the three you'd move first if you had to.