The Exception

Hard on your own work, easy on everyone else's, and convinced you're being measured — this is the shape most people mean when they say «perfectionist», and it is the one the research follows most closely. The generosity is real and it isn't performance: you genuinely believe other people are allowed to be tired, late and imperfect. You have simply written yourself out of that rule. The asymmetry is the whole result. A standard you'd never impose on a colleague is not a standard you've reasoned your way to, and the third level explains why it holds: when you also believe the room is keeping score, easing up doesn't feel like relief, it feels like exposure. The most useful move here is usually not lowering the bar but testing the audience — the harshest judge in the story is nearly always you, doing an impression of someone else. If that pressure is with you most days, it is worth talking to someone qualified.